love is the word

mission:

• give someone a happy music cd

couple days behind, i know, i know.  my bad.

friday was yet another jam packed day, so nothing i planned to do ended up manifesting.  i was left with about 2 seconds to decide my deed for the day as shakirah was already at the elbo room waiting for me.  we were meeting up to watch the kev choice ensemble and the bayonics perform.  i was also going to be shooting photos….which i still have to edit.  along with j*davey.  sigh.

:D anyway.  i’ve created this short list of act of kindness ideas in the notes section on my beat up little palm treo.  most of them are easier, less time consuming ones – “for the kind person on the go.”  hahahhaha.  i should make a commercial.  i’m sitting on my lappy in the bedroom finisihing up, ironically, a post for another day…thinking, thinking, what to do.  peep my little phone list, still thinkin…

look down and i see my good ole stack of blank cd’s.  the top cd was one that was already labeled but not burned (from the burn session i had for brianna’s b-day giftage).  it happened to be “bees & things & flowers” by incognito, with the first track being “everybody loves the sunshine.”  done and done.  even though i don’t love the whole album, it has a few solid enjoyable happy tracks – i thought it would suffice :)  ideally, i would have made a happy mix cd…but alas, kindness on the go.

i get out a thick-tipped black sharpie and scribble, “music to make you smile. *TAKE ME*” on the paper insert for the jewel case.  slip in a minicard on top of the cd, and i’m set.

once shak and i finally make it to the elbo room, we make our way alllll the way to the front so i can shoot.  i set my stuff down and pull out the cd.  cheesin super hard and holding up my gift, i say, “my act for the day!”  shak smiles.  i ask her that i want to just randomly set it somewhere but i don’t want anyone to see me.  she gives a quick glance around and says i should try doing it a bit later.

i think it was in between sets that i decided i was going to do my stealth action.  i grabbed the cd and beelined for the very back of the club.  the bar.  most everyone was turned around facing the bar, and there were so many people generally moshed up in the somewhat small space that i was pretty sure i could go by without a trace.  didn’t really know if there was a perfect moment to slide the cd onto the bar to minimize chances of detection.  allllsoooo, if seen, i was was wary of coming across like mixtape rapper solicitor dude, like, “yo, i got ceedeeeeez, son.”  i mean, although i don’t really look like a rapper.  i’m also not a dude.

yeah.  i saw a super slight opening next to this lady at the edge of the bar.  i was apprehensive that she’d turn around when she felt someone’s arm slide around her to put a cd right next to her on the bar.  but i went for it….aaaannnd………[wait for it, wait for it]….BOOKED IT!  stealth steez slid back through the maze of a crowd.  hahahhaa.  i was too focused on my escape to see if anyone caught my little display.  probably thinkin, ‘really lady, what’s that serious, though?’  ha.

hopefully someone picked it up and enjoyed it.

mission:

• write a dorky poem to my homegirl to cheer her up

i must note that this act was inspired by my lover, erica, who wrote me a cheer up poem earlier this week.  i’ve actually been contemplating of writing her a poem for a week or two, but she beat me to it.  so – e, i owe you a poem…but it is going to come as a surprise.  muaaaaahahhahahah.  can’t be that predictable now can i?

my other lover (i have many) mawuse had a not so happy gtalk status yesterday, so i thought she could benefit from some poetic ignorance.  here is my rendition:

girl.
as my droopy ass lids close one hour and fifty five minutes past midnight
i’m thinkin of you and sleep i’m trynna fight
see.  i got an act of kindness to do and you’re the subject
you’re hella fine so i gotta come correct
even if i’m not a lesbian
but hella people think i am
but anyway.  that’s besides the subject.
girl.
correct.
i’m trynna rhyme the same thing twice
like kanye west

i saw your gtalk status
just in passing
girl, i promise.  i’m not stalking.
it said you was busy.  and mad…or something like that.
sorry i don’t listen
it’s just that your skin is glistenin
and i’m fixin
for some chocolate pudding
no, not you.  i actually just had some chocolate pudding.
and i want more

more.
more more more.
mawuse ziegbe (zee-egg-bay)
with your fancy ass minimalist linen material business cards
i promise i’m not a whore
anymore
but i’ll be yours tomorrow
oh oh.
row row.
…your boat

if i was there right now, i’d go to east village
or greenwich village
or whatever it’s called
and get you a magnolia’s cupcake
even if i don’t like them much
and shove it proudly in your face
as you scold me for my gluttonous ways

hey-ay
mah-woo-say
i hope you have columbus day off
so you can come visit me
i’ll sing this poem/song/trainwreck
and you can scoff

but in the meantime i hope you laugh your pants off
but not in that way

[end poem]

i don’t really have much of a deep reflection after that.  so, um.  yeah.  mawuse said she “giggled.”  making people giggle is nice.

[end deep thought]

mission:

• tape a $5 bill to an atm machine

i think this mission was inspired by my homie gedeon who said when he first read this blog he felt inspired and left a couple bucks in a bart train.  that’s what’s up :)

i had a pretty full day yesterday (technically day before yesterday now as i’m writing this at 12.45am) with work, running home to not look like a scrub, and the art opening.  my energy has also been dwindling from fasting so i knew that yesterday i’d have to do something pretty low-key and quick.

when i went to LA i wasn’t sure what acts i was going to be doing for the weekend, but i decided to grab a roll of masking tape and throw it in my backpack.  don’t ask me why.  just thought it might be useful.  tell me why when i needed it yesterday, it mysteriously disappeared from my backpack?!  hmph.  so i got a tape dispenser scotch tape roll…that really sounds like a mouthful, whatever…and threw it in my camera bag.  of doom.

just kidding.

as the night carried on, i found myself getting tireder and tireder (which is officially not a word and i also officially don’t care).  i knew that i still needed to do my act for the day though.  i told brianna – aka my former crush aka my art opening date aka “the chocolate sensation” :D – that ‘i can’t forget to do my act tonight.  i have to do it on the way home, remind me.’  kind of funny the acts have become a custom and half the time i’m all “to-do list” about it.

i decided i was going to hit the mission @ valencia-ish bank of america atm on the way home.  i could have easily popped a 5 on the ATM downstairs at my office building, but that was way too boring and easy.  i don’t need to be paying for some chick’s latte.  ok, fine.  paying for a williams-sonoma can’t-afford-a-designer-bag-but-i-have-12-anyway employee dudette’s latte is nice, too, but i didn’t feel like being that kind of nice yesterday.

so when we got there, brianna went up to one atm to dispense some of her riches.  and i went up to the other and slapped a fiver with a purple minicard reading “mentor local youth” in an all caps labelmaker font.  i know i need to show images of the cards.  i will i will.

it was a fun, random little act.  and i get a kick out of thinking what the heck a person is going to think when they see a five dollar bill plastered to an atm.  it’d really be interesting to record various people’s reactions, as a sociological experiment (i like dissecting us humanfolk in that way).  i bet some people might to a double take and keep walking.  some people might just walk by thinking it was play money or a joke.

i always wondered how people might react to the money gedeon left on the train.  i feel like a lot of people might be inclined to think it fell out of someone’s pocket and may feel guilty taking it, thinking it wasn’t intended for them.  but then i totally had a mental image of some little kid finding it, delighted, being like ‘yeeeeee…i’m going to the corner store and getting me some bazooookas!’ …or whatever the candy of modern day tooth decay is.

at the atm.  i wonder what kind of people would decide against taking the money and why, and what kind of people would be inclined to take it and why.  and once that person actually took it and maybe read the note on the back of the minicard, would that change their initial view of their receipt of the money?  heheheh, a friend made a good point.  in just reading the url of the website on the back of the minicard, one could misconstrue the whole thing as some church mission or something.  love is the word.  sounds kinda churchy i guess.  preach!  the church of aaaaaooowwwwwww.  sorry.  the masjid of aaaaooowwwwww.  there.  i balanced out the ignorance.

i always surprise myself with these posts.  i’ve been eternally scared that they’d be like two words long: “i did this today.  yay.  patting self on back.”  yeah.  not what i wanted to do.  so, i’ve tried to add color.  and sometimes, by the time i’ve finished thoroughly coloring, i still haven’t gotten to the main point i wanted to make.  which this time around is this:

i’ve really tried avoiding doing acts that require the use of money.  or at least tried to do them sparingly, trying to make them somewhat meaningful/novel, and not as a cop of an act for the day.  just the same, i’ve been wary about writing about things like prayer, recycling, and listening because they don’t really fall into the traditional notion of the whimsical random act of kindness.  at the end of the day, kindness is kindness though.  i figure thoughtfulness on a breadth of issues and ideas would be of a greater reward to me and the readership – and i’m a fan of variety anyway.

still.  it just makes me really uncomfortable that a lot of the things on even my 101 random acts of kindness list require money.  most of them don’t require much money at all.  and several require the use of already bought items (which is essentially a sunk cost and doesn’t feel as bad as going out and spending money).  ok.  spending money on act of kindness isn’t bad, it is good.  well, it depends.  my concerns are:

1. the tendency to want to throw money at something to ‘fix it’ as well as the use of money as the easy way out for a lot of things
2. the fact that there numerous ways to be kind without the use of a dime and everyone should feel inspired and enabled to be openly kind without worrying about needing money to do it/regardless of financial means

what do you think?  there are more time involved things i’ve wanted to do that don’t necessarily require money, or require minimal money and are more thoughtful – i just haven’t found time to do them yet.  if any of you have ideas of something fun/thoughtful that you’d like to see me do and write about – please let me know!  while i welcome all ideas, any ideas that require a minimal time commitment are ideal.

i think small acts would be more palatable and realistic for readers to carry out for themselves if yall so chose.  let’s be real, we are all busy folks.  taking the time to do something more involved now and then is beautiful, which i am also aiming to do.  but i think the message that small things go a long way is really the thrust of the project.  ya diiiiggg?

You’re the prince to my ballerina
You feed other people’s parking meters
You encourage the eating of ice cream
You would somersault in sand with me

You talk to loners, you ask how’s your week
You give love to all and give love to me
You’re obsessed with hiding the sticks and stones
When I feel the unknown
You feel like home, you feel like home

You put my feet back on the ground
Did you know you brought me around
You were sweet and you were sound
You saved me

You’re the warmth in my summer breeze
You’re the ivory to my ebony keys
You would share your last jelly bean
You would somersault in sand with me

- “somersault” / zero 7 ft. sia

mission:

• feed other people’s parking meters

i always thought this song was so adorable :)  and every time i think of feeding other people’s parking meters i think of it.  what’s awesomer (yeah, i said it) is that there are at least 4 acts of kindness in this song alone.  it should be the blog theme song!  ahahahha.  nah, but i think i like changing it up and adding some music on here.  my personal blog which i update every millenium was basically just a bunch of music postings, because i’d always find myself too lazy to write anything of consequence.  but i’d always have a song that i liked or a song that told how i felt to share.

so during my 12+ hour expedition yesterday, i found myself running all over town.  usually i’m at a parking meter past their running hours and i don’t need to pay.  but yesterday, one quarter for 5-10 minutes =/.

first spot: polk street near aspect framing and gallery.  i slipped a few in my own meter and then realized i was running short.  to my luck i parked right next to a laundromat that had a quarter machine.  odds?  so i took out probably $6, $7 worth of quarters and dumped em in my wallet.  pulled out my minicard dispenser and aaaaooowwww.  slipped in a couple quarters for the car in front of me…crossed the street to the gallery side and slipped some into another meter.  i left minicards under the windshield wipers.  their meters weren’t expired, but i figured a few extra minutes wouldn’t hurt anybody.

second spot: 7th ave right across the street from cheap pete’s framing.  almost every meter was expired.  i found myself a bit confused.  maybe they don’t ticket there?  i filled one meter and then started heading towards the store.  i hesitated.  i looked back, at the store, then back at the red flashing “expired” banners of guilt.  i didn’t have many quarters left, so i put one quarter each into the meter of a few cars.

lovely.  maybe i helped people, maybe by the time they got to their cars the meter was expired again :D  anyhow, i had fun finding minicards with appropriate sayings.  i had a bright red “donate blood” one that i stuck on a bright red car.  it amused me how they matched.  then i found another one that said “pay for the person behind you at the drive thru.”  i was proud of finding one with car-relevant messaging.  if anything, i amuse myself, right?

it was interesting, though.  i’m not used to being regulated by a meter.  i tend to be relatively leisurely with my time when i’m out.  or rather, take my time making decisions if i’m making a considered purchase.  it felt weird to be rushed.  maybe it made me more efficient?   or just made me waste more money on the meter?  i just realized how the meter is almost a systemic symbol of our highly-regulated (in ways i don’t think we even realize), go-go-go lifestyle and society.  streamlined.  making exhorbitant amounts of money to park on city streets that we pay for.  maybe it’s to induce quicker turnover so everyone can get to high traffic areas.

it’s just interesting to be on a clock.  sometimes our society is so caught up in living 10 steps ahead instead of living exactly where they are.  i plead guilty.  have to be here to get there.  ain’t no teleporting…yet.

where are we going?  we are right here.

mission:

• don’t bang self upside the head / have a fit

i’ve been generally stressed out the last couple weeks.  my stomach has been knotted to the point that it begins to burn and i’ve found myself unconsciously clenching my jaw.  all kinds of things have been going on.  good and bad.  even the good things have stressed me out in the work and time they’ve required from me seemingly all at once.  it’s gotten better over the last few days, but yesterday started off with a difficult morning emotionally and then a last minute photo mission later in the day.

my good friend chris samala got me some space at hotel des arts for the START SOMA new art 08 exhibit.  never having framed artwork before, i was a bit struck by how much it was all going to cost me.  i silently decided i wasn’t going to do it anymore, figuring that my spot would be given away since i missed my deadline i gave of last week.  yesterday i found out that samala had specifically reserved space for me.  since she came through like that, i felt compelled to make it happen.

so i ran to get a bunch of photos enlarged at costco (i had no idea what i was going to show), messed around with some layouts given my wall space, and then went to cheap pete’s to try to get some framing and matting done.  i spent a good hour there with the salesperson deciding which frames and photo orientation to go with.  once i told him i was ready to get everything (which was by NO means cheap), he tells me that my order wouldn’t be ready til friday.  ?!?!??!?!?!?! [internal freak out]  i needed to turn in stuff yesterday per what i told samala and really at worst case on tues/early weds.

i panicked a little, especially as i really didn’t know what to do in case i ended up not finding ANY framing.  but somehow still kept at ease, having faith that somehow i was going to make this work.  i came home and came up with some backup layouts, researched a couple more frame places, and made my artist information sheet.  acting “as if” everything was going to pan out alright.  called in sick today – feeling somewhat nauseous and gross in general.  today’s the day, let’s see what happens.

i spent an hour or so on the phone updating with a good friend of mine.  i really called to check in on her, but ended up spending a good deal of time talking about how i was feeling.  so i appreciate that.  and apologies for not being in the right state to give you better attention.  most of the conversation from my end was sullen.  i sort of wanted to disappear (not like that) – but run away.  we ended on a more productive note but i was still drained.  i decided not to run away and simply keep on keepin on…

what else can i do?

no use in beating myself up.  i figure if you visualize something and believe in it enough, it will manifest in some form.  i eff up all the time but balling up into a ball of negative energy is no good.  impatience will only incapacitate you, warp your perspective, and make you generally unattractive.

i’m getting ready for bed and realize my phone’s ringer or vibrator isn’t working anymore – just at that moment.  my friend ibrahim is supposed to show up any minute from sfo (via nyc) to crash in my living room.  my apartment door buzzer also happens to not be working for the past couple weeks.  i figure i’ll get up in 5 minutes to check my phone; i won’t pass out in 5 minutes, right?  wrong.  i wake up at 7.30am to tons of missed calls and texts.

i left my poor friend ibrahim stranded outside my apartment all night.  he had to walk all around SF to find a hotel (most were full) to sleep for a mere 3 hours.  yeah, not very awesome of me.  at all.

i feel terrible.  ibrahim keeps saying maybe there was something meant in it – why that happened.  i’m not sure we both know why as of yet.  but i was impressed in turn with his patience and composure and not wanting to tear my head off.  so thank you, ibrahim, for exemplifying patience, humility, and forgiveness.

it’s odd.  because even before this happened i was going to write about how i was trying to be patient with myself.  really though, my practice of patience was lightweight.  yesterday’s deed really goes to ibrahim.

thank you for tolerating my whackness, ibrahim.  and i’m sorry.

mission:

• pay the golden gate bridge toll for the car behind me

i did not know the golden gate toll went up to $6?!  what the…

anyway.  anticipating a lovely day at the russian river, i decided my deed for the day would be to pay toll for the car behind me.  on the way back into the city, i allllmooost forgot as i was so focused on food (fast was about to break) and being teased with ideas of in ‘n out burger.  mmmmmm.

i realized i had forgotten my beloved minicards in my backpack in the trunk.  i was going to stop and jump out of the car before my turn came in line and grab my cards, i decided.  i thought how funny/disturbing it might be if the car behind me started honking and hating that i was slowing the line down and then i ended up paying their toll :D  alas, that wasn’t what happened.  the golden gate toll line, beyond that, doesn’t really feel like a line.  it’s more of a mish mosh of cars scattered in front of a few booths.

so i get to the attendant booth.  i’m all about to pull out a nice clean $10 when i notice freakin toll is $6?!!!  nevermind i thought, i could save a buck, thank you.  HAAAAAAA HA.  just kidding.

i give mister attendant man a $20 and ask him “hey can you pay for the car behind me and give them this [hand him minicard]?  you can give me change for 2 tolls.”  he’s a mild-mannered looking middle aged guy…just smirks a little and nods.

like a big fat nerd i’m pulling out like 2 miles an hour to try to get the reaction of the old couple behind me.  although i can’t really make out faces, i see the attendant point to my car while talking to the folks.  that makes me smile.  i don’t think i necessarily needed dap from homies in the back, so i sped off.

yay.

mission:

• give out lottery tickets to strangers along with my newly arrived loveistheword calling cards

so there is a part of the project that i left out because my supplies hadn’t arrived yet.  i ordered a 100 minicards from moo.com to give to people that are subjects of my random acts.  moo allows you to put a different image or text on the face side of every card.  on the back side you are allowed to have some static text that appears on every card.  what i did is put a different act of kindness idea on every face side and a little blurb about paying it forward and spreading love along with the URL to this site on the flip side.  the idea is to propel people to pay it forward as well as see the blog so they might get a clearer idea of what just happened to them and why :D

anyhoot.  i was really excited to start handing out cards to strangers, but i don’t have thaaatt many, so i knew i had to tie it to my random act.  it’d be cool to start a little pay it forward mini movement, no?  :) perhaps the cards will help.  anyway, i was pondering what i was going to do yesterday when i passed by a huge lotto sign.  i don’t think i’ve ever bought a lotto ticket.  i followed the lotto signs and strolled into a liquor/convenience store.  i asked dude at the counter for a lotto ticket.  he asks me how old i am and i say 21 immediately, almost defensively.  really, i guess i was meaning to say i was at least 21 years of age.  awkward silence…”i mean, i’m 25.”  he looks at me like i’m a lame and asks, “which one?” “whichever is your favorite,” i say.  he hands me a yellow one i think and says i owe him a dollar.  i thought lotto tickets were like 5 bucks – apparently not.  “can i get 4 more of different ones, please?”  so he yanked a few more out and i paid him five whole dollas.

i’m walkin, pullin out a minicard to hand out with my lotto ticket.  i’m still sort of shy about doing completely random acts to strangers and need to break myself in.  i see an older man (possibly homeless) sitting on the edge of a concrete mini garden fixture and sort of peacefully staring off at the sky – i decide he’ll be my first recipient.  i hand him a lotto ticket along with a minicard and tell him: “this is for you.” and he warmly exclaims, “thank you!”  i scurry off.

next subject.  young woman with ipod headphones.  i’m thinking varied demographics now.  she’s aloof to the world in her music wonder, i’ll give her a little lotto lovin.  “here you go,” i say.  “thanks!” she says.  i’m pretty sure she thought it was a coupon or a flyer or something initially.  i am now forming a habit of running away from my subject before they realize i’ve just handed them a lotto ticket and a random minicard.

an old white couple is walking towards me.  typically i find myself more inclined towards / comfortable with people of color, so i decided to go for a change. “sir, i wanted to give you something…” i offer.  he shoos me away with his hand like i’m a solicitor and keeps walking.  hahhaha, so much for my social experiment.

a briskly walking suited old white dude with briefcase is whisking past.  his stature resembles that of another time.  i decide to persist and give another old white dude a try.  “excuse me, this is for you,” i tell him as i hand him the lotto ticket and minicard.  he asks what i’ve handed him and i tell him, “oh just a little gift…a lotto ticket.”  “oh, thank you!” he says – a little surprised, possibly confused.

at this point i only have two lotto tickets left.  i should choose my subject wisely, i think.  and while i’m plotting i see a young dude smoking across the the street about to cross.  he’s looking a little stressed, annoyed, maybe muttering to himself.  “this homie needs a pick-me-up,” i think.  i wait for him to cross and hand him my gift bundle saying, “this is for you.”  “why?” he almost retorts.  a little matter of factly, yet lightly and somewhat jovial i respond, “just cause.”  i keep walking.

i’ve almost reached my destination at this point.  the honda service center at market and van ness – i was getting my oil changed and needed to pick up my car.  i decide a fated honda employee will be my final recipient.  i go up to the service desk and tell them i’m there to pick up my car.  the guy pulls up my record and tells me to go to the cashier to pay – my car will be around in a second.  as he’s turning around to handle some other business i stop him and say, “this is for you.”  he looks at me strangely as if i’m performing some odd 2nd grade gesture of courtship as his coworker eyeballs him and then me, then him.  i nervously smile, avoiding eye contact – “have a good day!” – SPRINT! after paying, i end up having to return close to the area where the service desk is.  i avoid making eye contact with any of the service men that were near the desk.  at one point i caught the glance of one of the other service men that had been helping me.  i just end up laughing at myself outloud.  he looks at me, perplexed.

that was a fun little exercise.  i need to get better at owning my acts, though :D  otherwise people are just going to think i’m a weirdo handing them stolen lotto cards or something.  i wonder if there is merit in stopping for a split second before running away so i can address a person if they ask what i’m doing and what it’s for.  or should i bust out like the tasmanian devil leaving them in blissful wonder so they feel motivated to visit this site?  but then i’m not really all that anonymous anymore either.  but maybe it still makes it more fun.

alas :)

mission:

• really listen to someone and just be an ear

i talk a lot (surprise).  yesterday, again like many days, i had one idea at the beginning of the day of what i was going to do, but ended up doing something else.  what i wanted to do was going to take more time than i had, but i kept hoping i’d find some sort of nonexistent hour in my day to do it.  i let the whole day pass by and decided i’d do two acts today (one of them being the specific one i intended for yesterday).  but by the time i went to sleep, i realized i’d ended up doing something in between.  not yesterday yesterday, but still before i went to sleep :)  yes, i cheated…my act was done after midnight this time, but technically i started getting together brianna’s gift at 9.30pm the other night and finished around 12.30am the next day…so really, semantics, right?!  hahahaha.  don’t judge me.

i did something i’m not sure i even realized i did.  i listened.  i have a handful of bad habits that i try to continue to work on, sometimes putting more of an active effort than other times.  one thing is really intently stopping and listening and biting my tounge back for a second before i inject myself or opinion into a conversation.  it can often come across very self-centered and disregarding of what the other person has to say when you keep speaking or listen distractedly.  i obviously don’t intentionally mean that, but at the end of the day, sometimes my lack of listening are those things whether i like it or not.

shakirah and i got home around midnight, both beat from long days and planning and lugging for a bonfire tea party i had last night for my birthday.  on the ride to and from the beach, we both pored over the tensions we had been having, but from what i remember, it was mostly me talking and shakirah patiently listening and offering feedback.  by the time we stepped inside my apartment, i think we finally beat my issues enough to death that it really didn’t make too much more sense to talk about me.  so shakirah started sharing experiences of hers, giving me lengthy backgrounds to contextualize her situation.  we both were putting away food, cleaning up, and getting ready for bed but i tried to keep my attention as focused on her as i could.  sometimes not as present as i could have been because i was working on other things and moving about.

we were standing in the kitchen most of the time so i told shakirah we could go to my bedroom and finish up the conversation.  at one point i was looking at some birthday cards i had gotten, reading them without full attention and listening to shakirah without complete focus as well.  i forced myself to put down the cards and really focus on what shakirah was saying and direct my attention only towards her.

at one point shak was standing next to the bed, so i told her to sit.  shak sat down and we talked some more.  once shakirah thought she had gotten out everything she had to say, she headed for the door, but then stopped to say some “last words,” which really turned into a new leg of the conversation.  she noted that she really had had no one to talk to about what was on her mind yet because of coordinating time-zones, so she simply needed to get some things off her chest to clear her mind.  so shak continued speaking and i continued listening, realizing that i still probably talk double of what shakirah had thus far – and she listened to all that.  and so do all of my friends :D  shakirah thought she was done a few times, but again would realize that she really wasn’t.  i for one, probably never feel like i’m done :D  so i appreciated the opportunity to be patient.  once shakirah felt content with what she had shared and felt we had come up with a reasonable resolution on how to frame what was going on in her head, she said she was ready to go to bed.

she told me thanks for listening.  and i realized, ‘whoa, i really listened.  back pat.’  it felt nice to be there for a friend like that.  especially in a way that i can often suck.

listening to someone definitely takes a good amount of work, intent, love, and patience.  it really is one of the greatest things you can do to show you care for someone, especially when that person is specifically looking to being heard.

so yeah, i’d say constantly working at fixing bad habits is definitely a service to all…

mission:

• give away a prized possession

yesterday was my good good friend brianna’s 26th birthday.  i’m not the best at coming up with fun gifts, although i wish i were.  maybe i could be…but it’d require some special sort of brainpower from me that i’m not sure is always functioning :D  i don’t like giving gift certificates and cliche gift items, though, so i always get stuck.  beyond that – i’m sort of broke.  but i wanted to be novel.

a broke, novel gift.  ok.  so i ended up not being that novel, but still :)

one thing i decided early on was that i want to give brianna one of my favorite pairs of earrings.  giving away something i love was something i really wanted to challenge myself to do.  in fall of 2007 i went to visit a friend in miami, and brought back these awesome hand woven and painted dried palm tree leaf earrings made by a woman from colombia.  i bought like 6 pairs.  i was so proud of my original purchase that basically no one else would have (especially on the west coast – the lady was vacationing with her boyfriend in MIA and was headed back for colombia the next day).

the earrings are also huge so they attract a lot of attention and comments.  since getting them, i’ve had a more than a few friends threaten to sucker punch me so they could steal my earrings :D  some offered to purchase them, but i still couldn’t part with them.  very protective of my babies.  i’m a bit of a compulsive earring fiend and collector.  for brianna’s birthday, i finally decided to part with a pair and gift a beautiful yellow and blue one to her.  yellow also looks awesome on bri :)

bri’s also been asking me, pretty much since i met her, for me to burn her some music (she likes my musical taste and wants to be put on, [brushes off shoulders]).  it’s something i’ve even tried to do for myself but am too lazy to do.  ask friends, they can attest to the same 2 cd’s in rotation in my car for a year+.  it’s kinda sad.  there was a miracle last night.  i made myself comfy in my bed-desk (i’ve been kinda camping out there while my girl shak stays with me in the living room) and started burning cd’s, whilst eating chicken wings and cupcakes, of course.  don’t worry, lappy stayed clean.

wrote a nice little note on my new papyrus stationary (more like a lengthy admission of how i lightweight stalked bri =P), tucked the earrings in the envelope, and put on a shiny gold seal.

and topped it all off with a vase of pretty yellow and orange lillies along with purple lilacs.  i was there after floral hours so whole foods produce homie hooked it up with some extra foliage goodies and little decorative stones for the vase.  yeeeeee.

it’s nice to detach yourself from the material and share a prized possession with those you love.  love will only grow.  also, giving any gift when you have less means can be very profound.  my uncle once said to me something to the effect: ‘giving gifts when you have the means is nice.  but giving when it hurts a little exemplifies the true beauty of a gift in the spirit of love.’

word life.